ME: OK class, we'll be talking about fruits and vegetables today. Do you know what fruits and vegetables are?
CLASS: Yes, teacher.
ME: Great! Now I want to remind everyone to speak English in class! Speaking English will help you to learn more English!
CLASS: Yes, teacher.
ME: Repeat after me: "Apple."
CLASS: "Apple."
ME: "Orange."
Class: "Orange."
ME: "Pineapple."
Class: "Pineapple."
A student raises his hand.
ME: Yes?
STUDENT 1: Teacher, how to say 釋迦 in English?
ME: That is "Buddha-head fruit," or "sugar apple," or "custard apple." It has more than one English name.
STUDENT 1: OK teacher. Thanks.
ME: "Banana."
CLASS: "Banana."
Another student raises her hand.
ME: Yes? You have a question?
STUDENT 2: 老師, 火龍果英文怎麼說?
ME: I'm sorry, can you ask that question in English?
STUDENT 2: Yes, teacher. Sorry. How to say 火龍果 in English?
ME: That one is "dragonfruit" or "pitaya." It also has more than one English name.
STUDENT 2: Thanks, teacher.
ME: "Dragon eyes."
CLASS: "Dragon eyes."
STUDENT 3: 老師, dragon eyes 是什麼?
ME: Who knows how to say "dragon eyes" in Chinese?
STUDENT 1: It's 龍眼.
STUDENT 3: Oh, OK. 真是奇怪 .
ME: "Pear."
CLASS: "Pear."
STUDENT 3: 那如果"dragon eyes"就是龍眼, 荔枝怎麼叫leechee呢?
ME: Can you ask me that question again? In English?
STUDENT 3: 我不會.
ME: What you want to say is: "If the English name for 龍眼 is 'dragon eyes,' why is the English name for 荔枝 leechee?"
STUDENT 3: 你看! 老師也會講中文!
ME: Yes, but this is English class. Can you ask me the question again in English?
STUDENT 3: Huh? 你說什麼? 我聽不懂!
ME: I said: can you ask me one more time? In English?
STUDENT 1: 老師叫你用英文問問題.
STUDENT 3: 什麼問題? 他不是已經回答我的問題嗎?
STUDENT 2: 還沒. 他只是叫你上課的時候要講英文.
STUDENT 3: 好. 可是我忘記我問過什麼問題.
ME: Ahhhhh. Forget it. Repeat after me. IN ENGLISH. "Strawberry."
STUDENT 2: 老師, "strawberry" 是什麼? 是草莓嗎?
ME: 是. I mean yes! I mean: can you ask that question in English?
STUDENT 2: 老師為甚麼要再問一次? 你不是已經回答了嗎?
ME: 氣死我了!
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